It's been a while , I'm back again . :) The reason why I didn't update my blog is because , I'm lazy & busy with my things . Haha . 52 days more to my 2 Years Anniversary with my beloved . I cherish everything since the last breakup . I knew we'll be together again and here we are . Haha . I need him more than I thought , He's the most matured man I've ever saw in my life . He knows what good and bad for me , And sometimes he will give me some advise that I need . ♥
Few of my friends keep asking me that : Why do you wan to accept him back when he hurt you twice and deep ? " And I answered " Because he wants me to leave kuching happily , without any burden , and get a new life there instead of missing him and don't wan't to leave kuching . He want me to study overseas just to let me get a better education . " ♥
And now I'm in aussie , with a sad feelings . Cause my life here sucks more than I thought . No friends , Stay at home 24/7 . And sit in front of the computer everyday . But still , I know my mum & my stepdad will give me a better life than staying at kuching . But it's a stress feeling when you live at other people house and use his money . Sometimes you have to say yes more than no . And I hate this kind of feeling . My mum keep telling me that the life here is much more better than kuching , and yes ! I know mum . And It's not because of my boyfriend who makes me hate here , It's because of the stress feeling I had here ! You won't feel stress because he's you husband . But he's just my stepdad , and Of cause I will felt frustrated . It's not a good or happy feelings to live with a people who is not your real family . ♥
But I'm lucky to have a good and nice boyfriend , He agreed to wait for me if I decided to study here . And I know It's hard to maintain a long-distance relationship , But both of us decided to give it a try . If it doesn't end up like what we thought , It's ok , At least we tried , And we got no regrets .♥
I wanted to study at kuching is because of the standard . My friends told me the standard here is like very very high and hard for him , and yet he's good in studies . How about me ? I'm not good and I only finished my year 10 , not even year 12 . How do you expect me to study at a place that I can't . Not that I don wan to try but just I know I just can't .♥
Well , I don't meant to hurt you mum . I just can't ! And you cannot force me to do things that I don't like and can't . It's a stress feeling when I use his money to study , because I have to tell myself , It's a MUST to get a good result , and must study hard even though I can't ! What should I do ? SO FRUSTRATED . Oh god , please help me . I'm stuck and lost .!!! :( ♥
